Blog Posts

I would not allow kids in care to be shouted at

anonymous | May 22, 2022

An individual, who spent eight years in care as a child, is asking whether there are better ways for carers to communicate.

In the run-up to Care Day, islanders have shared their experiences of living in care and their thoughts on how to improve the system for all.

“Something good about my time in care was that they had a lot of activities in La Preference.

They would take us out to the beaches and sand dunes, or we would just go for drives and listen to music. I enjoyed the drives and looking out the window at beautiful Jersey.

Pictured: “Something bad that I experienced in care was when I would do something bad I would get shouted right in my face by one man which would make me cry.”

Sometimes we would have ice cream or coffee and we would do different stuff like sports activities such as football and badminton. One time we went to France for a weekend trip with everyone and this was one of my most memorable moments of my life. It was so much fun as a kid, waking up, jumping in a pool on sunny days and having lots of fun.

Something bad that I experienced in care was when I would do something bad I would get shouted right in my face by one man which would make me cry. Other times when I was bad, I was told to go to my room early and stay there until the next day or told to stay on the steps for a while as a punishment.

Me and my sister were separated because we used to run away from the children’s home and go to our mum’s or sometimes just to get away from children’s home. We would also go to our mates’ houses to socialise together. They split us up because we were running away – I was really sad as my sister was always there for me.

Also, when I used to run away from La Preference I would go to my mum’s and when I got caught they would bring me back and lock my door and they would stay outside my room door so I couldn’t run away.

Being so far out from family and friends as I was in St. Martin at La Preference also added to the stress of being in care.

Pictured: “They would take us out to the beaches and sand dunes, or we would just go for drives and listen to music. I enjoyed the drives and looking out the window at beautiful Jersey.”

Something I would change in care is that I would not allow kids to be shouted at.

If kids are bad, I think it would be better to take something that they enjoyed away from them, like a PlayStation, or take away activities from them as a punishment. I think that would work better than shouting at kids. I would also like to see more education opportunities in children’s homes to benefit them for their future.

I would also have talking sessions twice a week for an hour with the child to see how they are coping and explain to them why they are there and that you’re here for their safety depending on what reason they are there for.”

*This article first appeared on Bailiwick Express.

Carly
Carly Glover
CEO

It is a privilege to hold this role with Jersey Cares. It breaks my heart that children can move from a tricky situation at home to a ‘system’ where too often bureaucracy and processes don’t leave enough room for a secure childhood. There are great examples of tenacious people who help create such a childhood and we need to learn from those examples just as we need to acknowledge and address the repetitious and predictable flaws in the current ‘system’.

I believe fervently that it is possible, here in Jersey, for ‘care’ to be excellent. It is my strongest hope that Jersey Cares is a catalyst for more people to support more children to be loved and cared for and that ‘care’, in Jersey, is shaped by deep reflection on lived experience.

I have worked in community development for 20 years; 10 of those in leadership roles. I’ve worked with people experiencing homelessness, domestic violence, struggling with literacy and being a parent and co-created projects with people affected by these issues. I hold a Post-graduate certificate and a Masters in Community Education from the University of Edinburgh.

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